On New Year's Eve

I slept the day through

My beloved Louis lost his father

I didn't see my dad

I learned of my younger brother's struggles

I still did not have Christmas presents for most of my loved ones

My sensitive teeth couldn't take the cold

I was coughing loudly

. . .

What a way to end the year.

Cloudwatching

Clouds fascinate me. I can spend hours just watching them move, change shape and finally disappear. I don't know why, but sometimes clouds make me want to weep from within. They're beautiful but they're temporary. Much like most precious things in our lives.

These pictures were taken October of 2007, a month before my most loved digicam was stolen. I was and am convinced that October boasts the best skies. Trust me, I've been watching the sky for a long, long time.

Lemon and my red streaks

I met up with Lemon and her Dad at Trinoma to do a last minute Christmas shopping. When I arrived at the department store, I felt weak discovering a lot of people decided to do their last minute shopping on the very last minute as well. Then from afar, I heard a high pitched voice calling out to me. It was Lemon. Amused, I asked her, "how did you find me so easily, with all the people shopping around?"

To which she sarcastically replied, "hello, mom! Your red hair?"

I was dumbfounded once more. I'm pretty sure she's only seven. Uhm... yeah.

Oh you've got to be kidding!!!

one long sigh

Once more I find my self in the middle of everything. My head says move on but my heart refuses to let go. When I joined this throng of money-making night dwellers, I told my self, I should not get attached emotionally. It's fast-paced and you lose and win friends by the dozen.

Now look at me. I'm still here. I decided to leave the company almost nine months ago. How many times after that did I consider leaving and not looking back? Friends, laughter, crushes, the adrenaline rush, side-projects - all of them are reasons why I stick by.

Needless to say, I am where I feel I am most loved and appreciated. And that is reason good enough for me to stay. It's so difficult to find a place where one can thrive, and I am most glad I did. So there, I let my self get attached, I loved, I grew emotionally dependent on individuals I barely know. Perfect recipe for a disastrous career, ain't it? But hey, that's what's making me happy right now. That's what's making me stay.

So here I am at another crossroad in my career in the customer service world. It's not easy being here and I wish I am somewhere else. I wish it didn't get so complicated. I wish I don't have to decide. I'm floating for a few more days, I guess, waiting for signs, watching for signals. For now I'll just nurse my broken heart and try to detach it from my processing brain. It's not so wise to decide when you're hurt. I might regret it. It's like all the pieces seem to fit but there's still something wrong with the big picture.

Coffee, anyone?

Red red red... I love RED!!!

on my hair, that is. heehee...

Eperformax, Lion King Musical (Video2)

Second of two parts. Again, it's kinna unkind to the ears but this video will give you the chills nonetheless.

To the actors who practiced and practiced,

To the props men who almost didn't sleep,

To the members of the management who got "auctioned" just so we'd have enough funds to sustain the overwhelming expenses,

To our teammates who believed -

We all deserve this moment of glory. Let's celebrate our little triumph with humility. I've never seen such level of unity from all walks of life in the corporate world. If we didn't win, that alone is handsome enough prize already.

Pero mas masaya pa rin kasi nanalo tayo. Hehehe!!!

And I'll say it again: WE REALLY REALLY ROCK!!!

Eperformax - The Lion King Musical (video 1)

First of two parts. We apologize for the poor quality of the audio. But we don't apologize for the screams and cheers of the crowd. Heehee... *wink*

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
WaMu has a special way of loving me.

Last week was one of the most eventful weeks of my life as a CSR. With our account enjoying a rollercoaster ride and the Christmas season inevitably approaching, I was caught right in the middle of everything. I honestly was considering leaving the company once more and moving on with another career path or just continue somewhere else. I don't know what part hormonal imbalance played this time, but I was simply exhausted. Needless to say, I was ready to give up.

I was actively involved in our musical production then. I was tapped to join the props committee and that's where the stress originated. With barely two weeks to accomplish so much and there's the unexpected lack of OTPs even with ten to 15 minutes of waiting time, I strongly believed we were overreaching. Have you seen The Lion King Musical on youtube? We were aiming for that. No shit.

With generous help from my CPO/CE teammates, we were able to deliver my assignments - 4 grass headdresses and four tree headdresses and hand pieces. Imagine creating each and every damned blade of grass out of walis tingting and green crepe paper, branches from mache'd paper sausages and leaves from wires and more green paper. Coke, CE's QA was my partner here and she worked like a machine! Without her I could've cried out of frustration. She made it possible, least to say.

Saturday morning, 36 hours before the big competition, I was applying finishing touches to my assignments. Delivered them to the props team, only to find out the animals were still ghostly white. There was so much to do in so little time. I decided, hey I could spend a few hours more helping out. A few hours turned into a day. I didn't go home from my Friday night shift until it was Sunday morning already. I was a zombie.

Blood, sweat and tears - literally. I was tearing up inside because I didn't wanna give up. Everybody was expecting so much from us. And it'll break their hearts to know that the props department screwed it up for them. No, no. Giving up was not an option.

I haven't seen such level of unity from all walks of life in the corporate world. Management people get down on their a$$ses and got dirty. My hands hurt from painting, twisting wires, cleaning, sticking paper and more cleaning. Our biometrics scanner already refused to read my fingerprints. Naubos na yata ang fingerprints ko. Nobody slept but no one got cranky, well at least not out loud. I appreciate the cheerfulness of these guys I was working with. It spelled the difference between giving up and hanging on.

Sunday morning came, everything was still a far cry from completion, but then we knew it was possible. I was able to go home. I hugged my Little Munster who was nagtatampo na at that time. I promised her she'd have all of me after the production. "Just give me one more day, babe," I told her.

Woke up late. Call time was 4PM, I woke up at 5. Without spare time to shop for a red-and-black get up, I recycled my old clothes. Screaming red Chinese blouse and generic black pants and leather boots. I reached A-Venue at 7PM, hoping against all hopes that I hadn't missed our own presentation yet.

First reaction was, wow... People did get dressed to kill tonight. I'm already dead so yeah. I didn't even apply make up, for all I care. I just wanted to go backstage and extend assistance to the presenters. Met with my CPO team then ran towards the actors. Lo and behold! It was the perfect eye-candy! I suddenly felt like playing veterinarian. Lionesses, gazelles, zebras, giraffes, birds, an elephant - I just died and went to wilderness heaven. I knew then we're going to give the crowd something to remember. Hopefully not something we're going to regret forever. Heh..

Of course the actors got so nervous. I scavenged for cigarettes, lighted them up and even placed them in their lips since they have stuff attached to their hands and arms. Ultimate yaya talaga, but I was having a good time. If there was a shortage of adrenaline everywhere else in the world that night, it's because we hoarded them by tons.

I was trying to catch a bite when it was announced that WaMu was about to perform. I dropped my fork and ran towards the back of the stage. I sent up a silent prayer, asking God to watch over us.

I was especially nervous because our actors never got to try the props and costumes. No dress rehearsal, whatsoever.

Darkness. Silence. Then came that familiar 'chant' from Circle of Life. Spotlight and smoke on Macky, who played Rafiki. I was stunned.

Macky delivered a standout performance as Rafiki. I know he's good but I didn't expect he's THAT GOOD. He won the crowd's attention, now it's the rest of the cast's turn to win their hearts. And they did.

Everything's a blur now to me but I'd never forget how I felt that night when I was watching them perform. I was crying so hard. I was sobbing. I covered my face in disbelief. I didn't expect the musical to look so damn good. When the zebras and the gazelles and the giraffes started moving around, I could no longer breathe. "Those were the ghostly white animals we were working on last night," I said to my self. We almost didn't have a presentation!

The elephant that walked towards the stage, followed by four lovely white birds deserved special mention too. I love it that our managers and supervisors were so 'game.'

Every now and then I'd snap out of the state of trance I was in to assist with costume changes. I was extra proud when the grass and tree men appeared on stage. Those grasses, those trees - they expected so little of them. It was a real ego booster to hear somebody from the crowd, a non-Wamu employee, blurt out "para dun pala yun. Ang galing!" I wanted to say, "kami gumawa nun eh, ganda no?" But I was afraid baka kuyugin ako. So I continued watching from the side of the stage in silent awe.

The actors - each and every one of them, deserved the cheers and the claps and the whistles from the crowd. They were so damn good up there! And it also helped that the lighting was great. Golds and greens and purples continue to flood the stage. It was the total package!

I know I've said it a lot of times before, but I'll say it again - STANDING OVATION, BABYYY!!!

Towards the finale, it also helped that we chose a grand song to end the presentation. As our Boss Wax sang "in the circle... The Circle of Life!," everybody was just screaming and cheering and clapping helplessly. Never mind that the party poppers didn't go off. We didn't need confetti anymore. It was the grandest, most extravagant moment of the night. It took a long time before the cheering died down. I have all the right to say, we won 'em hearts fair and square and we wouldn't let them go just yet.

I ran towards Ian G and hugged him real tight and cried some more. My body must've been experiencing hormonal breakdown already. From frustration to panic to surrender to extreme pride - my systems couldn't have handled them easily. One solution was to continue hugging and kissing everybody. I love this team! I didn't ever want this night to end.

As we impatiently waited for the announcements, we took pictures, drank beer, chatted and smoked. Then came the moment of truth. The 5th placer was called, then the 4th, then the 3rd. WaMu had not been called yet. We were jumping with excitement already. Then the host called us to the stage, along with the other team whose name had not been called out too.

I'll cut it short. WE WON!!! For the very first time, WaMu won the group competition. And because the big people were so impressed, they doubled our prize to 40K. We were ecstatic! But it doesn't stop there. Our 40K? It was doubled once more! We won 80K!!! Oh this night continued to rock my world!

More hugs and kisses and picture-taking later, we were nearing the end of the night. We took pictures of our props - the very same things we were frustrated about the night before - and bade farewell. The zebras and gazelles suffered broken limbs. There's not much we can do for them then. We left them backstage, with all due respect.

Off to our after-event party. Oh how I enjoyed our little victory celebration. I'm infatuated with the fact that suddenly, I have great new friends! We all ended up in a small hotel room right across A-Venue. I went home Monday morning.

So what did this experience teach me? A lot of things, that's for sure. I learned that willpower spells so much difference when you're trying to accomplish seemingly impossible tasks. That you'll earn friends by being helpful. That sense of humour is one of the greatest gifts on earth. And oh, most importantly - WE ROCK!!!

And when people ask me, "were you there on the stage?" I always answer, "I definitely was. See the headdresses and the costumes? I am part of those. I won't dream of being somewhere else."

Heehee... I love my life. Now that's modesty aside. *wink*

Of lions and grassmen - The Lion King Musical Experience

WaMu has a special way of loving me.

Last week was one of the most eventful weeks of my life as a CSR. With our account enjoying a rollercoaster ride and the Christmas season inevitably approaching, I was caught right in the middle of everything. I honestly was considering leaving the company once more and moving on with another career path or just continue somewhere else. I don't know what part hormonal imbalance played this time, but I was simply exhausted. Needless to say, I was ready to give up.

I was actively involved in our musical production then. I was tapped to join the props committee and that's where the stress originated. With barely two weeks to accomplish so much and there's the unexpected lack of OTPs even with ten to 15 minutes of waiting time, I strongly believed we were overreaching. Have you seen The Lion King Musical on youtube? We were aiming for that. No shit.

With generous help from my CPO/CE teammates, we were able to deliver my assignments - 4 grass headdresses and four tree headdresses and hand pieces. Imagine creating each and every damned blade of grass out of walis tingting and green crepe paper, branches from mache'd paper sausages and leaves from wires and more green paper. Coke, CE's QA was my partner here and she worked like a machine! Without her I could've cried out of frustration. She made it possible, least to say.

Saturday morning, 36 hours before the big competition, I was applying finishing touches to my assignments. Delivered them to the props team, only to find out the animals were still ghostly white. There was so much to do in so little time. I decided, hey I could spend a few hours more helping out. A few hours turned into a day. I didn't go home from my Friday night shift until it was Sunday morning already. I was a zombie.

Blood, sweat and tears - literally. I was tearing up inside because I didn't wanna give up. Everybody was expecting so much from us. And it'll break their hearts to know that the props department screwed it up for them. No, no. Giving up was not an option.

I haven't seen such level of unity from all walks of life in the corporate world. Management people get down on their a$$ses and got dirty. My hands hurt from painting, twisting wires,  cleaning, sticking paper and more cleaning. Our biometrics scanner already refused to read my fingerprints. Naubos na yata ang fingerprints ko. Nobody slept but no one got cranky, well at least not out loud. I appreciate the cheerfulness of these guys I was working with. It spelled the difference between giving up and hanging on.

Sunday morning came, everything was still a far cry from completion, but then we knew it was possible. I was able to go home. I hugged my Little Munster who was nagtatampo na at that time. I promised her she'd have all of me after the production. "Just give me one more day, babe," I told her.

Woke up late. Call time was 4PM, I woke up at 5. Without spare time to shop for a red-and-black get up, I recycled my old clothes. Screaming red Chinese blouse and generic black pants and leather boots. I reached A-Venue at 7PM, hoping against all hopes that I hadn't missed our own presentation yet.

First reaction was, wow... People did get dressed to kill tonight. I'm already dead so yeah. I didn't even apply make up, for all I care. I just wanted to go backstage and extend assistance to the presenters. Met with my CPO team then ran towards the actors. Lo and behold! It was the perfect eye-candy! I suddenly felt like playing veterinarian. Lionesses, gazelles, zebras, giraffes, birds, an elephant - I just died and went to wilderness heaven. I knew then we're going to give the crowd something to remember. Hopefully not something we're going to regret forever. Heh..

Of course the actors got so nervous. I scavenged for cigarettes, lighted them up and even placed them in their lips since they have stuff attached to their hands and arms. Ultimate yaya talaga, but I was having a good time. If there was a shortage of adrenaline everywhere else in the world that night, it's because we hoarded them by tons.

I was trying to catch a bite when it was announced that WaMu was about to perform. I dropped my fork and ran towards the back of the stage. I sent up a silent prayer, asking God to watch over us.

I was especially nervous because our actors never got to try the props and costumes. No dress rehearsal, whatsoever.

Darkness. Silence. Then came that familiar 'chant' from Circle of Life. Spotlight and smoke on Macky, who played Rafiki. I was stunned.

Macky delivered a standout performance as Rafiki. I know he's good but I didn't expect he's THAT GOOD. He won the crowd's attention, now it's the rest of the cast's turn to win their hearts. And they did.

Everything's a blur now to me but I'd never forget how I felt that night when I was watching them perform. I was crying so hard. I was sobbing. I covered my face in disbelief. I didn't expect the musical to look so damn good. When the zebras and the gazelles and the giraffes started moving around, I could no longer breathe. "Those were the ghostly white animals we were working on last night," I said to my self. We almost didn't have a presentation!

The elephant that walked towards the stage, followed by four lovely white birds deserved special mention too. I love it that our managers and supervisors were so 'game.'

Every now and then I'd snap out of the state of trance I was in to assist with costume changes. I was extra proud when the grass and tree men appeared on stage. Those grasses, those trees - they expected so little of them. It was a real ego booster to hear somebody from the crowd, a non-Wamu employee, blurt out "para dun pala yun. Ang galing!" I wanted to say, "kami gumawa nun eh, ganda no?" But I was afraid baka kuyugin ako. So I continued watching from the side of the stage in silent awe.

The actors - each and every one of them, deserved the cheers and the claps and the whistles from the crowd. They were so damn good up there! And it also helped that the lighting was great. Golds and greens and purples continue to flood the stage. It was the total package!

I know I've said it a lot of times before, but I'll say it again - STANDING OVATION, BABYYY!!!

Towards the finale, it also helped that we chose a grand song to end the presentation. As our Boss Wax sang "in the circle... The Circle of Life!," everybody was just screaming and cheering and clapping helplessly. Never mind that the party poppers didn't go off. We didn't need confetti anymore. It was the grandest, most extravagant moment of the night. It took a long time before the cheering died down. I have all the right to say, we won 'em hearts fair and square and we wouldn't let them go just yet.

I ran towards Ian G and hugged him real tight and cried some more. My body must've been experiencing hormonal breakdown already. From frustration to panic to surrender to extreme pride - my systems couldn't have handled them easily. One solution was to continue hugging and kissing everybody. I love this team! I didn't ever want this night to end.

As we impatiently waited for the announcements, we took pictures, drank beer, chatted and smoked. Then came the moment of truth. The 5th placer was called, then the 4th, then the 3rd. WaMu had not been called yet. We were jumping with excitement already. Then the host called us to the stage, along with the other team whose name had not been called out too.

I'll cut it short. WE WON!!! For the very first time, WaMu won the group competition. And because the big people were so impressed, they doubled our prize to 40K. We were ecstatic! But it doesn't stop there. Our 40K? It was doubled once more! We won 80K!!! Oh this night continued to rock my world!

More hugs and kisses and picture-taking later, we were nearing the end of the night. We took pictures of our props - the very same things we were frustrated about the night before - and bade farewell. The zebras and gazelles suffered broken limbs. There's not much we can do for them then. We left them backstage, with all due respect.

Off to our after-event party. Oh how I enjoyed our little victory celebration. I'm infatuated with the fact that suddenly, I have great new friends! We all ended up in a small hotel room right across A-Venue. I went home Monday morning.

So what did this experience teach me? A lot of things, that's for sure. I learned that willpower spells so much difference when you're trying to accomplish seemingly impossible tasks. That you'll earn friends by being helpful. That sense of humour is one of the greatest gifts on earth. And oh, most importantly - WE ROCK!!!

And when people ask me, "were you there on the stage?" I always answer, "I definitely was. See the headdresses and the costumes? I am part of those. I won't dream of being anywhere else."

Heehee... I love my life. Now that's modesty aside. *wink*

Lemon, on my Anne Rice obsession

I was downloading audiobooks one weekend. I was checking the quality of my downloads and ended up listening to Body Thief for about 30 minutes. overheard:

Lemon: wala na talaga 'tong si Mommy. Addict na.



Toinks! I just had to laugh.

ePerformax' Rockin' Red-and-Black Ball and WaMu's The Lion King Musical

One of the bestest and most memorable nights of my life. Our account presented The Lion King Musical and went home as champions of the competition. Needless to say, WE ROCKED THE HALL!!!

STANDING OVATION, BABY!!!

I love my CPO and CE team for helping me complete my assignments (bushes and trees). I love the props team for staying cool under pressure, when all I wanted to do was panic and just give up. And I love the cast for just bringing the house down. *squeeeeee*

Will blog on this later. My eyes haven't been bleeding long enough so I'll go look at the pictures some more.

Pics from the following Multiply pages:

http://badongkamote.multiply.com/photos/album/14/lion_king_wamu

http://jemai00.multiply.com/photos/album/237/EperF_XMas_Party

http://celsmaca.multiply.com/photos/album/26/ePERFORMAX_red_and_black_party

http://sweetdaydream4.multiply.com/photos/album/1/ePerformax_x-mas_party

baby girl's friendster acct: http://profiles.friendster.com/45112503


Will wait for more uploads and then shamelessly steal and repost them. Thanks, you guys!

Vampires' Day Out

Previously, on My Life...

Louis and I were reunited after a year-and-a-half of silent separation. Louis invited us to his beach condo in Batangas to bond and celebrate almost 5 years of friendship and love.

* * * * * *

Dizzy from a hangover (it was Girls Night Out the night before we left), I almost got lost going to ATC that Saturday morning. I got so dependent on driving that I forgot how to commute. Side-story: I'm on a driving hiatus up to end of this year. Louis patiently stayed with me on the phone to guide me step by step. I went on and on and on til Louis cried out, look to your left, I'm here. Ah! The first beautiful sight of the day - My Louis, there on the sife of the road, proudly showing off the ink work on his arm, handsome as ever. I've never felt so relieved to see him. We hugged and I thought, I'm glad we're okay now.

Endless chat on our way to Nasugbu. Louis and Nii would talk about anime while I listen closely. I haven't been watching because I'd rather sleep or read something or talk to friends. Every now and then they'd lose my attention. One time I saw an aratiles tree. Memories of how as a child I would climb this huge tree in our neighborhood and just shamelessly pick all the really plump ones, degree of ripeness notwithstanding, swept me away. Louis and Nii said I have undiagnosed ADHD. Duh. Heehee... So there. We also talked about religion, Twilight, Amadeo (more commonly known as The Vampire Armand), tattoos, bad vices, Tuguegarao and Zac Efron. I was crashing from lack of rest, but they're much too excited to let me fall asleep. We arrived at the condo around two hours after we left ATC. Louis drove slow intentionally.

The place took my breath away. The condo was well kept and I say the taste for colors and fixtures is expesive. The room let out a rather welcoming vibe that made me wanna snuggle under the blanket and let time fly. But then again, THEY won't let me. Hehe... Masyado akong kinilig so I went to Louis and gave him a sweet sweet hug and a beso.

We went back out to have lunch at Jollibee. Me: We went all the way to Nasugbu to eat at Jollibee!!! Louis, his appetite was something else. I won't describe in detail but I remember him admitting it and calling himself, patay-gutom. Haha... We bought stuff and headed home. The STUFF included an underwear in nude from Louis. Just so I'd swim. *nyeh nyeh*

I took a nap for half an hour and woke up feeling a little better. We headed for the beach. Oh and the beach - it was really beautiful! There's also a nearby pool which was equally breathtaking. Louis and Nii jumped in while I remained on the shore. The magic of the place is enough to make me happy inside. And besides, someone had to look after the little precious (gadgets). *excuses*

We went back to the condo to wait for Emyr. When he arrived, he brought us beer. Lots and lots of beer. Arnii and I kinna thought of the same thing. Our thought bubble read: How the hell could we ever finish a case of Red Horse Mucho and be sober enough to get our a$$es home? Louis couldn't help, since he's pretty much intolerant to alcohol. Him and Nii quit smoking too. Nii - well she's an animal when gets drunk. Wild woman! Hehehe... On the otherhand, I tend to get super sleepy so I mixed me horse with extra joss. A kick and a punch. Saan ka pa?

We talked about more random stuff and really personal ones. We played "I have never" and came up with our own version. I realized so many things while playing: That it was freaky that I haven't tried anything stronger than smokes, that I haven't tried using drugs, that they thought I was sexually conservative (HAH!!!), that I know my Louis most of all, and that he remembered the thing he made me promise years ago. I was tearing up inside. I love this group. I love my Louis. I don't wanna lose them again.

I almost cried at the setting sun. I knew the day is ending and the adventure would soon be over. I've never been a big fan of sunsets. Never. They do look good but they make me well up in my heart.

No more nightswimming for us because we couldn't drag half-dead Arnii anymore. Emyr too wanted to take a nap. Louis and I had a short bonding moment on the couch while waiting for Emyr to wake up and Nii to finish her bath. We planned to have another Canyon Cove gathering in time for my birthday in February. I remember Louis saying, "let's do something special for this girl." *sniff*

Dinner at Dencio's, Tagaytay. It was awfully cold, di na sya nakakatuwa! We met up with Emyr's mom, who generously paid for the dinner. More stories on our way back to Alabang. Nii passed out already while Louis and I were sharing scary stories.

Alas, it was time to let go once more. I kissed Louis' cheeks before I jumped out of his car. I will surely miss him. And Nii - she still feels sick and had to hurry home. Ako naman, I had to go to my teammate's briday shower. Ding, ang bato! Hayy...

One pleasant surprise: Louis, he's childlike that day. I never saw him that relaxed before. Was it my fault that our gathering were always so serious? Maybe. But we're not 'just vampires' anymore. Not for a very long time.

I love you, all three of you. I hope that we'll be together when the sun finally sets on me. I can't wait for February. I'll cook the best darn Adobo and White Caldereta you'll ever have. Til next time. All my love!

Pictures here: http://forsaketh.multiply.com/photos/album/184/Daywalkers_Reunited
courtesy of our Claudia and Louis.