one long sigh

Once more I find my self in the middle of everything. My head says move on but my heart refuses to let go. When I joined this throng of money-making night dwellers, I told my self, I should not get attached emotionally. It's fast-paced and you lose and win friends by the dozen.

Now look at me. I'm still here. I decided to leave the company almost nine months ago. How many times after that did I consider leaving and not looking back? Friends, laughter, crushes, the adrenaline rush, side-projects - all of them are reasons why I stick by.

Needless to say, I am where I feel I am most loved and appreciated. And that is reason good enough for me to stay. It's so difficult to find a place where one can thrive, and I am most glad I did. So there, I let my self get attached, I loved, I grew emotionally dependent on individuals I barely know. Perfect recipe for a disastrous career, ain't it? But hey, that's what's making me happy right now. That's what's making me stay.

So here I am at another crossroad in my career in the customer service world. It's not easy being here and I wish I am somewhere else. I wish it didn't get so complicated. I wish I don't have to decide. I'm floating for a few more days, I guess, waiting for signs, watching for signals. For now I'll just nurse my broken heart and try to detach it from my processing brain. It's not so wise to decide when you're hurt. I might regret it. It's like all the pieces seem to fit but there's still something wrong with the big picture.

Coffee, anyone?